Park And Ride Retard

I was driving in Reading, Berks (clearly they all are round there) when I saw this sign: “Ooh! I know! Let’s tell ’em that the parking is free but then charge them a fortune to get on the bus!” Nice one, fucktards. Here’s an idea for you: How about if I just park in the… Read More »

Shitlist Number 1 – Orange

Companies piss me off all the time, when they are particularly annoying I feel a need to name & shame. Today it is Orange. A while back, I stopped at a mates for a week. Wanting to access my email I spent quite a while trying to configure his wireless router to no avail. So I… Read More »

Nice Try Retard

[Note: See the Cold Callers page for an explanation of what these posts are all about.] WT: Wolf Tuchuk CC: Cold Caller This girl has been hammering the phones for so long I think she must have switched off: WT: “Hello?” CC: “And so what do you think Mr Tuchuk?” WT: “Well it all sounds… Read More »

Some Salesmen Just Can’t Be Bothered!

[Note: See the Cold Callers page for an explanation of what these posts are all about.] Wolf Tuchuk (WT) Cold Caller (CC) CC: “Hello, I am assuring you I am not selling anything…” WT: [butts in with extreme sarcasm] “Oh. That is a pity. I have just inherited….” He hung up! He didn’t even try… Read More »

Tuchuk Teaches English

[Note: See the Cold Callers page for an explanation of what these posts are all about.] CC: Cold Caller WT: Wolf Tuchuk CC: “Can I speak to Mrs Tuchuk?” WT: “Yes.” [Hangs up.] [Telephone rings again and is the same person] CC: “We got cut off. Can I speak to Mrs Tuchuk?” WT: “Yes.” CC:… Read More »

I Find A New Friend!

[Note: See the Cold Callers page for an explanation of what these posts are all about.] WT: Wolf Tuchuk CC: Cold Caller WT: “This is just a courtesy call from MG…” CC: “Oh how kind. I am an old and lonely man and don’t get out much. How wonderful that there is an organization that… Read More »

Think I’ll Buy Me A Conservatory – If it will fit!

[Note: See the Cold Callers page for an explanation of what these posts are all about.] CC: Cold Caller WT: Wolf Tuchuk CC: “…and we can offer special deals on conservatories!” WT: “I don’t think you could fit one here.” CC: “We can fit them anywhere!” WT: “The thing is, we are in a conservation… Read More »

Communications Between England & India Are Attempted But Fail

[Note: See the Cold Callers page for an explanation of what these posts are all about.] WT: Wolf Tuchuk CC: Cold Caller I really don’t mind Indian call centres. What I mind is speaking to people that can’t understand my point or can’t explain themselves properly. If you don’t want something straightforward then you’re screwed.… Read More »

I Receive A Call From My Friends Of The Cloth

[Note: See the Cold Callers page for an explanation of what these posts are all about.] WT: Wolf Tuchuk CC: Cold Caller WT: “Hello” CC: “Hullo. This is John from the Abbey.” WT: “Hello there! Are you Brother John or are you a lay member of the abbey?” CC: “Pardon?” WT: “And to which abbey… Read More »