Civilian policing ‘is half-baked’

Anyone seen leaving graffiti can be fined by the “accredited persons”

A scheme which gives “policing” powers to civilians in England and Wales has been described as “half-baked” by the Police Federation.

More than 1,400 people can hand out fines for littering, seize alcohol from underage drinkers and demand names and addresses of those who are anti-social

Accredited persons? What about an ass kicking, beat em till they’re raw, like a red headed stepchild. Burn the bodies of these fucking tards and use the heat generated to power the country. People burn like candles and these scumbags are cheaper than coal, plus there’s lots more of them these days, infant mortality rates being reduced is only really a good thing if they’re not born into scumbag families that are too dumb to be part of society, so fuckin burn em. See below

”

Theories about Spontaneous Human Combustion- Alchoholism - many Spontaneous Human Combustion vicitms have been alcoholics. But experiments in the 19th century demonstrated that flesh impregnated with alcohol will not burn with the intense heat associated with Spontaneous Human Combustion.

- Deposits of flammable body fat - Many victims have been overweight - yet others have been skinny.

- Devine Intervention - Centuries ago people felt that the explosion was a sign from God of devine punishment.

- Build-up of static electricity - no known form of electrostatic discharge could cause a human to burst into flames.

- An explosive combination of chemicals can form in the digestive system - due to poor diet.

- Electrical fields that exist within the human body might be capable of ’short circuiting’ somehow, that some sort of atomic chain reaction could generate tremendous internal heat.

No satisfactory explanation of Spontaneous Human Combustion has ever been given. It is still an unsolved mystery.”

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These fuckers burn really hot and would produce a lot of energy, imagine how much free electric you could get from some of those fat fucks at Asda.

The men, aged 29 and 25, were arrested separately on Tuesday, Manchester police said. Another three men were arrested at Manchester Airport on August 14.

“Five people remain in police custody as part of the investigation,” a police statement said.

Full story here

Terrorists - Fucking liberators! more like

Kill the non elected Jock cunt and do the country a favour. It’s the financial fucktastrophy that this asshole created while he was chancellor that is fucking this country over right now.

And by the way you dumb cunts that are celebrating because petrol has dropped by e few pence per litre best wake the fuck up, take your head out of your arse and realise its gone up by 50 pence a litre in 8 months, thats over

Well there is certainly plenty of scientific evidence to support that, however there was scientific evidence that we were heading for an ice age

Spotty little fucker in a fiesta comes tearing up behind me in a 30 zone - residential area, kids and cats all over the place, So I continue to the bank with this scrote and his mate flashing their lights, using the universal sign for wanker and mouthing off followed by accelerating towards me and slowing down ensues, so I pick my moment and as he accelerates again I slow down rather suddenly, a squeel of tyres and blue smoke appears from the fiestas tyres, I chuckle to myself thinking, maybe he’ll back off now. Er No……

This only seems to enliven the spod behind who goes so red I can see it in my rear view mirror! He then decides to follow me to the bank where I get out of the car, he gets out behind me, stomps over fists clenched and screaming “Come on then you cunt, you fuckin want some”

I let him approach me and as he comes in range I step forward putting my entire bodyweight behind a right hook, rather fantastically it connects with his nose and speads it nicely across his face, as he falls backwards bleeding, his mate jumps out of the car and runs around the car towards me.

I square up to him and he thinks better of it.

This is the kicker, spod number one is sat on the floor with claret all down his crappy designer shirt, he looks up at me with tears in his eyes and calls me,

“Fucking mental!”

I turn my back to get some cash out of the machine and he starts screaming like girl, “You’re fuckin mental” over and over, so I turn to face him, he shuts up, like an on / off switch, I experiment with this a little, by turning agian - sure enough, still on his arse he’s screaming.

At this point his lover/twat / friend joins in,

“Yeah, you’re fuckin mental, I’m callin the police”

This perturbed me somewhat, I didn’t instigate this, I didn’t even want a fight, frankly I’m not usually very good at it, so triple score for me so far.

So I decide if they think I’m mental I’ll act mental and see what happens, I’m well pissed at this point, wasting my time gobby little fuckers get me like that, they’ve never had a kicking - I have, it hurts and it makes you think about gobbing off before you do.

So I growl at them, while developing and eye twitch, and say

“Yeah, I’m fucking metal, you fucking wanna find out how fucking mental I am, come on then you gutless piece a shit, Tell you fucking what, I’ll call the police, you call the fucking ambulance, cause there’s about to be a fuckin murder”

Stomping back towards them fists clenched, teeth clenched, wide eyed and fucking fuming with anger.

They couldn’t get back in the fiesta quick enough , it was hysterical.

As they sped off, I turned back to the cash machine and started laughing, the shop keeper of the shop next to the cash machine came out and said,

“Good on you, these little sods these days have no discipline because the parent are idiots and take the side of the kid everytime, they don’t stop to think that their little angel could be a little cunt once out the door.”

I agreed and we discussed the downfall of parenting and lack of responsibility in general these days for 10 minutes or so, a very enjoyable chat it was too.

So a warning to all those little fuckers out there who’ve seen too many films, when people get hit, it hurts, you don’t fly through the air and get up like in the A team, If I break your nose it will bleed a lot, if you are going to pick fights don’t go crying when you get your ass handed to you.

As my old man used to say, there is always someone out there tougher than you -Always.

Most of us in our mid late 30’s grew up having fights, proper fights, one on one, some of us trained in different unarmed combat models, you can’t tell by looking who can fight and who can’t - size is not an indicator of ability. So be warned fuckers, you will be hit and it will hurt.

Think about what you’re doing before it hurts you, cause we aint takin’ it no more shit heads.

Fucks sakes.

Love the bloke who says they’ve a duty not to “put the parish into a conflict” - Nuclear bouncy castles now there’s an idea.

Someone died on a bouncy castle, shame, but seriously banning them? No ones banned cars, buses or eating chickens yet, and I know some one who died choking on one. Lets face it no one gets out alive so stop crying about the odd death here and there and start focussing on the hundreds of people being killed daily in iraq, ordinary people like you and me just trying to make a living and raise they’re kids. Imagine 200 people a day being wiped out in london DAILY week in and week out just for going about their business, What would you do? Sue someone?

Seriously though What the Fuck.

The reason there are so many little shits about these days is because they’ve not had a dose of PAIN,

Pain is one of the ways human beings learn to avoid certain behaviours like, touching cookers or walking in the middle of the street. But these days you’re all busy pretending to be ‘caring sharing’ tossers and complaining about the little fuckers with no discipline, SMACK, they’ll think twice about doing it again, guaranteed.

This wasn’t the giggle I thought it would be with a headline like that, Imagine beating Lambeth with Jeffrey Boycott, that would be funny.

It goes on to say…

“This meeting is needed really to knit together this very diverse group of Anglicans from all over the world and to, in a way, celebrate what they do have in common, which is an enormous amount.”

Yeah, they all share the same imaginary friend - fuckin retards, they all need helmets

No vote , no choice , here’s your new boss. the cunt that fucked the country’s economy rewarded with the prime minister slot -What the Fuck?

Not by choice, Brown shoved his way in through back room deals, and the current fear over a media created credit crunch will only keep the tosser that was in charge of the finances in government longer. The pressure is being applied to the average man on the street for a simple reason, if you’re busy being scared about, wages, taxes, fuel costs, terrorism (another fucking invention of this and Bush collective paranoia then you’re likely to forget about the fact we’re wasting billions of YOUR money on a war nobody wanted. Which was started with lies and deception to make you scared, WMD’s my arse. Christianity crusades for the modern age more like.

And less people vote when the pressures we’re seeing in England right now are applied - check your history. Who has time to vote when you can’t afford the gas bill, electric bill or to put fuel in your car.

The fact is the oil companies made BILLIONS of

We cant, they’re cunts, get used to it.

When you live on an island that no longer produces ANYTHING, then everything has to be imported mainly from China, where your hard earned 25pence pays a kid and his sisters for a week.

Think about that next time you buy a pair of jeans for a fiver, it’s your CONSUMERISM and laziness that is powering the poverty in the rest of the world.

And you’re all so high and mighty because you recycle, bullshit, that stuff gets thrown in the land fill with everything else. All the legislation being introduced and has been introduced for the last 10 years or so, has been designed to make you average people feel secure.

Here’s a news flash:

CRIMINALS DONT GIVE A FUCK IF THE STATIC CAMERA FLASHES, it’s stolen so no points on the no licence.

I D Cards, all fakeable, lets face it, if they can fake a passport they can fake any card, including and ID card with biometric data, the key here being DATA, the card doesn’t actually have your DNA in it, just a microchip, which can be programmed as easily as un programmed, so thats bullshit.

Go back to sleep England, your government is thinking for you, go back to sleep